Wednesday, March 9, 2011

sharks on the beach

Just when you think its safe to come out of the water, yes, the sharks are on the beach. Well at least that's how I felt this weekend on closing night of the 'Whosoevers' conference in Diamond Bar, CA. Seriously, after pouring my heart and soul out onto the people and without an ounce of energy left in me, I climbed out of the massive black escalade that we get to cruise around in when we come to LA. I walked towards the caution signs that were keeping our car firmly trapped inside the parking lot and began to move them out of the way, one by one in a desperate attempt to get protein and pajamas into my world as quickly as possible. On the last caution sign, I feel this overwhelming sensation of death pain crushing my finger, and oh yes, it happened, the caution sign had slammed onto my finger and sucked away with it any morsel of excitement or good temper that was hanging around and saving face for me in front of the delightful fans who stood watching this amusing scene play out before them. 'I am bleeding again!' I screamed in protest and threw the last caution sign onto the ground before huffing my way back into the car with very few happy endorphins remaining. Semi-jet lagged, I looked at Christie for sympathy who (herself focused on only protein and pajamas) empathized with the compassionate South African phrase, 'Ah shame' and then just flat-footed us back onto the road on the mission at hand, leaving me to fend the blood and the 'sprained finger agony' for myself. This is not the end, now with my index finger in a splint, today I am chopping lettuce, like a total douche with the sharpest, pokiest knife on the planet and, oh yes, I slice the top of my thumb open. I am now 2 little soldiers down on one hand.  So, moral of the story, just when you think the coast is clear, beware, its not over, the sharks are on the beach and they will find you and threaten your very existence. I hope this means there is a new song coming, please, some reason to validate the bizarreness of 2 soldiers down on one hand in 3 days. Something, anything....OUCH!!

I am trying to put a picture of my sad little hand up for you to feel my pain, but it is not looking promising. You just going to have to believe me xx


  1. Tyde!!! You are hysterical! I hope your two little soldiers heal asap! I totally sent you a message saying you should blog, for the human race would be highly entertained by you! What a shrill, you are! Yes, "shrill"!!!

    Ps Coco says, "Hi".... :-)

  2. Well, God bless your fingers and everything you have because what you did in Satan's lies has been given Russian subtitles on the video and is shaking the brains of the Russian Youth!))) GOD BLESS YALL!

  3. I felt empathy for your heartfelt despair... its not that bad... laughing...

  4. LOL!!! This reminds me of the time when I tripped up the stairs, blamed the architect who came up with the very idea of stairs and then wrote a song called "Falling Down"...